Sexual expression is an integral part of being human, but some behaviors can result in guilt or shame; threaten relationships or jobs; increase social isolation; cross legal or ethical lines; or put one at financial risk. Negative consequences can follow excessive pornography use, seeing sex workers, or cheating on one’s partner. If you believe you are struggling with out of control or compulsive sexual behavior, psychotherapy can help.
I use a two-pronged approach in treating out of control sexual behavior. I work with you to identify how you would like to – and how to – change your behavior, and I address the root causes. For example, if you want to abstain from pornography or develop a relationship to it that feels manageable, we develop self-care tools and behaviors to direct you towards making choices that are more nourishing. To address what’s driving the behavior, we talk about your family and relationship history, as the pain from trauma or low self-esteem often results in the development of sexual coping behaviors. We work on healing those original wounds and helping you to develop a more ‘whole’ sense of self so that you can have a sex life (with yourself and others!) that can be both empowering and emotionally connected.
I have participated in numerous trainings in the realm of sex therapy, gender, kink, and out of control sexual behavior. This deep exploration has provided me with a grounded understanding of both sexuality and relationships, and the struggles that can arise. I am committed to creating a space free of bias and judgment, and I subscribe to the philosophy, “Do what you will, so long as it harms none.” I believe adults have the ability to take ownership of their needs and should have the right to freely express themselves, as long as they do so in an ethical manner. (If you have a criminal case against you for sexual assault or sexualizing minors, then I am not a good fit, but I may be able to refer you to someone who specializes in these areas.)
Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to talk about how we can work together.